Miscarriage #3 took place exactly 5 years to the day after miscarriage #1. Innocence lost.
"Innocence lost. That's how I felt after losing my first baby to miscarriage. My husband and I had waited a long time, 10 years, before we decided we wanted a baby. So after getting pregnant at age 31, we were both surprised and excited. I felt this instant bond with the tiny being growing inside of me. At my first OB appt. my doctor decided to do an ultrasound to check the dates. I was fairly sure I should have been 8 weeks, but the fetus was only measuring 6 weeks. It had a little tiny heartbeat though, and my doctor never gave me any indication that anything was wrong. 3 more weeks went by and I felt good. Then one day I started spotting pretty heavy. I went to see my OB again and another ultrasound showed the fetus has stopped growing at about 7 ½ weeks. (I was 2 months pregnant by then) I was devastated! I had never experienced anything like that before in my life. The overall sadness that enveloped me for days/weeks was heartbreaking. I would cry almost constantly. Feeling like I was not in control was not like me. But I couldn't control any of it. Innocence lost.
It took us 2 long years before I got pregnant again and I was a bundle of nerves the entire pregnancy. I couldn't just relax and enjoy it like most expectant moms could. We were fortunate enough to have a big, healthy baby boy, though. Our rainbow baby!
2 years later we experienced it again. A slowly developing fetus with a slow heartbeat. Miscarriage #2. 5 months later, deja vu. What could make it worse? Miscarriage #3 took place exactly 5 years to the day after miscarriage #1. Innocence lost. Another 2+ years of charting, new doctor, ovulation tests, pregnancy tests, diagnosis of PCOS. Then were just burned out. Done! But we feel so fortunate to have our rainbow baby. (now 10 years old!) Plus I have met so many amazing women who have been on a similar journey as me through online message boards through the years. They were lifesavers to me during those dark times. Only they were the ones who truly understood what I was going through, which is exactly the reason I'm sharing my story. I want other women experiencing pregnancy or infant loss to know they are not alone." - Cheryl P.