“This miscarriage has permanently damaged me from feeling any joy or happiness in our pursuit of adding another to our family.”

“This miscarriage has permanently damaged me from feeling any joy or happiness in our pursuit of adding another to our family.”

“I lost my child November 16th, 2016. I found out at my 8 week OB appointment, at what was supposed to be an exciting moment for my family and I. I went into my doctor’s office so eager to see my new child and left it completely shattered. I was still having all of my pregnancy symptoms, so there was no sign of loss physically that could have warned me of what was coming. But when we looked at the ultrasound, there was no heartbeat. The baby was only a little over 6 weeks developed. My doctor told me to get blood work done and that it could still be too early to tell if my baby is alive. Another ultrasound and blood work results confirmed our worst fears. From there I was given medication to “jump start” the physical process of miscarriage, and sent home to let nature run its course. I was angry, depressed, drained and heartbroken. I cursed at life as everything and everyone around me continued to go on normally, while my family and I were knocked completely off our feet with this unimaginably painful loss. I struggle as it is to even become pregnant, and all I wanted was to be able to conceive on my own, without the use of fertility medication. I was so overwhelmed with joy when I found out I had become pregnant without meds. Then to have it all taken away from me so suddenly, it broke me. People kept trying to comfort me by saying, “God wanted that baby for some other purpose,” or “There must have been something wrong with the baby to not survive.” It killed me to hear this, to think that my child was less than. I would have loved that child with all my heart, flaws and all. I felt even worse for my husband; he kept such a strong face for me, and didn’t want to trigger me with his grieving. I felt disappointed in myself that I could not give him what he wanted, more babies to love. He is such a great father, and for him to lose a child was just as damaging as it was for me. The only thing that helped us keep our faith was our son, who showed me so much positivity and brightness during that difficult time. Without him, I might not have recovered as well as I did. My child was due the day after my first son’s birthday, and as we draw closer to that date I feel the sting of loss deepen a little more. There’s a hole in my heart where that baby and its beautiful life should be. Instead, all that is there are the hopes and dreams of what could have been, and prayers that our baby is protecting our family from up above. This miscarriage has permanently damaged me from feeling any joy or happiness in our pursuit of adding another to our family. Now all I feel is scared and constantly worried about another miscarriage. All we can do now is pray, and keep the memory of our lost child alive within our hearts.”

“I put 110% in what I do, I love, live, and breathe my job. The hardest part is going home and knowing they’re not your own.”

“I put 110% in what I do, I love, live, and breathe my job. The hardest part is going home and knowing they’re not your own.”

“She has made me into the person I am today. A person who judges less, understands more, and truly appreciates every little thing in life. “

“She has made me into the person I am today. A person who judges less, understands more, and truly appreciates every little thing in life. “

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