“She has made me into the person I am today. A person who judges less, understands more, and truly appreciates every little thing in life. “

“She has made me into the person I am today. A person who judges less, understands more, and truly appreciates every little thing in life. “

“Losing a child is something that nobody wants to talk about. Even myself most of the time, if I’m being honest. I was a little over eighteen years old when I found out I was going to be a mom. I was still a kid trying to figure out who I was and who I wanted to be. I wasn’t sure if I could handle the daily job that is being a mother. I had voices in my ear telling me to take the easy way out. But there was something inside me telling me I could do this. Even if I had to do it on my own. I had the support of a few family members and a couple close friends which made everything seem like it was going to eventually be okay and work itself out. I was just getting used to the idea of being a mother when I received news no parent ever wants to hear. My daughter Sophia Lynn had a neural tube defect which would keep her from being able to survive outside the womb. I was given the options to carry her to term or to be induced for early labor. What kind of choice is that? I didn’t want to make that decision. I wasn’t ready to play God and decide how she would enter and leave this world. But I had to move forward somehow, and the best choice I could think of was to deliver as soon as possible and save her from a difficult full term delivery that would most certainly cause her more harm than good. There was no doubt in the doctor’s mind that she would struggle for life as soon as she was born and that was something, as her mother, I couldn’t bare to watch. I was scheduled to be induced a couple of days later due to overcrowding at the hospital. I had to carry my daughter in my belly for 3 more days. I can’t even begin to describe the kind of pain I felt in those three days. Knowing those were the last times we’d spend together as mother and daughter. She was still physically attached to me but I had never felt so empty in my entire life. Time seemed to drag on and fly by all at once. I was ready for it all to be over and begging whatever God was listening to just let it all be a bad dream. The day finally came to deliver her and it’s honestly one giant blur. I don’t remember much of the time I spent in the hospital. All I remember is that she was perfect. Everything about her. Her face, her tiny hands, her long legs. She was even starting to grow hair. I couldn’t understand why something so horrible had to happen to me. Why did she have to go so soon? I couldn’t think of one thing I did wrong while I was pregnant. I did everything right. And still, she was called home. I left a piece of me in that delivery room when I left the hospital. It’s a piece of me I will never get back. It’s a hole in my heart that I’ll never be able to fill. Fast forward 5 years and I am expecting my second daughter and I couldn’t be more thrilled! She will never replace the spot in my heart that is for Sophia. But getting a second chance at being a mother has been nothing short of a miracle. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think of the sweet smile she had on her face when she was born. She has made me into the person I am today. A person who judges less, understands more, and truly appreciates every little thing in life. Because life is so precious and nothing is guaranteed.”

“This miscarriage has permanently damaged me from feeling any joy or happiness in our pursuit of adding another to our family.”

“This miscarriage has permanently damaged me from feeling any joy or happiness in our pursuit of adding another to our family.”

“My body failed me. I would never hold his hand, watch him grow up, or hear his voice. Never is a long, long time.”

“My body failed me. I would never hold his hand, watch him grow up, or hear his voice. Never is a long, long time.”

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